Evolution of Beliefs

Sometimes I hesitate to share what I believe because my beliefs are subject to change with new information.

The more I evaluate my statement above, the more ludicrous it is that I feel any sense of shame for changing beliefs. And then I remember that I was taught from a young age to be proud that I was privy to divine knowledge, the secrets of the human condition, the one and only truth, and then it makes sense why I hesitate to share my shifting, flexible beliefs.

I was taught that flexibility in my beliefs was dangerous. The scientific method is all about proving our theories wrong. Making a hypothesis, testing to see where the holes are, where the cracks in the logic are, the missed steps, the missing pieces, and have the humility and excitement to change when new information arises. I understand there are more things I don’t know than I do.

Do many believe the more tight-fisted they are about the things they believe, the more integrity they have? Or maybe the more loyal they are? For a long time, I thought I could only search within the bubble of my inherited belief system. Anything outside of that was off-limits. The universe is constantly in a state of expansion, so why should we, as little components of a larger ecosystem be any different? All of life around us is about growth. The old dies to make way for the new.

And then there’s this: who actually even cares what I believe?

Nobody is as impacted as I am by what I believe, don’t believe, maybe believe, or beliefs I loosely hold and may change next week. Shifting beliefs doesn’t make me a person without values or integrity. Curiosity is one of my highest values, so beliefs that are loosely held are an asset to that value. I believe things that help me love others better. To be able to look others in the eyes and see myself and our shared humanity. Curiosity is the single greatest asset to connection.

I didn’t leave the “camp” of evangelicalism, I just left the tent. I’m standing outside of the tent looking up at the night sky, full of stars, wondering at our short human existence, and seeing many other tents around me. I felt like going to each of the tents and opening the flap, calling to the people huddled inside, “Come out! Come experience the beauty of being alive, together!” Each tent is self-made, culture-made, religion-made, politically-made. We slap on labels: left, right, atheist, democrat, republican, religious, liberal, conservative, good, bad, rich, poor. I get why we do it. Labels help us make judgments and categorize quickly. We don’t feel like we have to watch our back when we can put a heuristic to work for us. Heuristics are shortcuts to decision making. Unfortunately, our biases inform how we categorize and label, and very quickly our minds are made up and not easily changed.

Years ago, a friend was talking with me about another woman I hadn’t met. She described her in not-so-positive ways and I felt myself becoming more and more annoyed. I knew that when I eventually met this other woman that I would have to battle in my mind to not look for and confirm what my friend said about her. I felt like my choice was taken away to make up my own mind about her.

In some ways our biases are like that friend. They tell us the dangers of the “other” because our minds are constantly on the lookout for threats. We have to be aware of how our biases are driving our judgments and decide consciously if we want to think about others in that way.

“Immediately a person needs the label in their head to make the world more efficient, and I see that instead of reacting to that, by getting defensive or agreeing or disagreeing or something, I allow people’s projections to go through me like Chinese food. They come and go and I see them as their projections, and if they want to hold that model, that’s their business, not mine. Whatever I am, I just am, and from inside that allows me to be at home in the universe.” -Ram Dass