Indecision

We waste so much energy in indecision.

The sheer amount of options seem to paralyze us. We make pros and cons lists. We talk with friends and neighbors and therapists and the stranger in the check-out line, but we are left still hanging by the thread of our uncertainty, like a loose tooth that is begging to be pulled out. We somehow believe that not making a decision is the wisest thing to do.

I went skydiving with my brother. Once.

I was excited, nervous, expectant. I got suited up, waited my turn, and loaded into a tiny plane. We climbed higher and higher, and then they started unloading. I was seated near the pilot so I had the pleasure of watching everyone jump out before me, strapped to a scruffy stranger who made jokes about things not working out over the roar of the engines. One by one, out they went, and we scooted closer and closer to the door.

I knew that I was nearing my last chance to stay in the plane. Even as we teetered on the edge, wind whipping around us, I still had a sense that I could change my mind.

And then…

we jumped.

There is a moment in every decision where you feel that odd sense of vertigo, where you know it’s your last moment to change your mind. Your pen is hovering above the closing papers on a house, a lease on a space for your business, an adoption paper for a new pet. The moment when we’re truly deciding.

But what if you could make that sure decision ahead of time? What if you relinquished your attachment to indecision, understanding that you can trust yourself to deal with whatever happens next?

Suddenly, there is lightness, a sense of peace. Even if things don’t work out the way you hoped, you know that nothing is wasted. Everything is a doorway to the next discovery of yourself. Every turn taken is an aid to deeper understanding. Every step is a necessary part of the journey to becoming who you are meant to be.

Swirling in indecision tricks us into feeling a sense of control over our circumstances. We think it’s good and responsible to waffle back and forth, but imagine for a moment if you instead just made a decision, then put that energy toward following through?

A key component to breaking out of the cycle of indecision is self-trust. When you know you have your own back, you trust your intuition. You trust that whatever comes your way you’ll be able to navigate it and figure it out.

When I jumped out of the plane, I was SHOCKED by the blast of cold wind that threatened to take my face off. I was beyond overstimulated by the flood of adrenaline, the chill, the view. We free fell for a bit, then he pulled the cord.

And I passed out.

I have no clue why I went comatose, but I missed the rest of the ride to the ground. I came to right as we were landing.

I don’t regret jumping, even though it went completely different than I thought it was going to. That’s life. We make choices and then roll with the punches. Still a better alternative to never going up in the plane.