Routines
I’ve been contemplating resilience a lot. What makes some people “make it” despite significant challenges? Why do some people who have intense hardship come into their lives still seem to thrive? There are several factors, but one of the big ones I believe is healthy routines and habits.
I love working out, but it wasn’t always this way. Not even kinda close. From the time I was tiny, I’ve been a mover. Riding bikes and running everywhere as a kid, track in jr high and high school and intramural soccer and basketball and volleyball and whatever else was available at my tiny college.
Then I got married, moved to a small town where I barely knew anyone, got a job, had kids, and stopped making time for myself. After three kids, loads of stress, and managing my daughter’s special care, I weighed more than I ever had before, had low energy, and started having some mental and physical health struggles that took me by surprise. I dreaded working out. I just chalked it up to being someone that just doesn’t like it, as if people who did work out were some type of rare breed.
I was working on time management skills in my business with a friend and he made a simple comment that hit just right: “You have to believe that you’re worth making time for yourself.”
It was a lightbulb moment that illuminated how I thought about myself, what I was willing to make time for, and my faulty beliefs about what taking care of myself meant.
The next morning, I went for a walk. Just a short walk. Maybe one mile.
The day after that, I went for a walk.
Then the next day, and the next day and the next.
I had hired a personal trainer to give me workouts and keep me accountable at the beginning of the year, but my commitment was still sporadic and I had days I missed. April 15 was the day I started prioritizing myself and my mental and physical health and decided I was worth what I wanted in life. I walked nearly every day for months. I stopped missing workouts. Even when I didn’t want to because I was tired and sore, I showed up for myself. Again and again and again.
When my dad’s cancer caught up to him and I had some monumental changes happen in my life, my routine kept me going. My routine had become powerful, important, and truly symbolic in my life, and I kept my promise to myself despite some of the darkest days I’ve been through. I stuck to my routine, rain or shine, traveling or at home.
The routine steps in when you don’t feel like it and says, “Tough cookies, we’re still doing it.” Routine saves you. Routine teaches you that you can make it through hard things. You have done the boring work to build consistency, and when things go to total shit, your consistency keeps you getting out of bed. It keeps you reaching for healthier food options. It keeps you going outside for a walk.
Now, a year after I made that commitment to myself, I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The commitment to daily movement wasn’t the only one, it was just a starting point. As I felt better and better and felt the positive effects of exercise on my mood and sleep, I had more energy, focus, and willpower to make other positive changes. Eventually, my routines became habits, true non-negotiables in my life. When hard things come my way (and they still do and still will), I am much better equipped to handle them. There is a deep sense of Okayness about everything because I’ve gone through hard before and come out on the other side with a sense of optimism and hope still intact. One of the greatest tools of a happy mindset is healthy routines.
Routine is a commitment to yourself that you are worth it.
You are worth taking time for yourself.
You are worth satisfying relationships.
You are worth joy in your career.
You are worth showing up for yourself over and over again, and as you do, you build resilience to carry you through even the toughest times.
If you want to build a healthy routine, there are several little hacks you can use:
Print out a paper calendar and put an X on every day you accomplish your task
Have a jar and 30 marbles. Every day you stick to your routine, put a marble in the jar
Grab a friend who also wants to develop healthy routines and check in with each other every week.
Suggestions for healthy habits to integrate into your life:
Daily walks/exercise/movement
Drink water before your morning coffee
Meditate first thing in the morning
Set an alarm to take a 5-minute “breath break” every afternoon (breath for 4 counts in, 4 counts out. Repeat)
Stretch before bed
Journal/brain dump first thing in the morning or last thing at night
Check your email only 2x per day (9 am and 4 pm)
Turn your phone off at a set time each day